How our journey began

Dear Friends and Family,

I am thrilled to have this outlet to share our new journey with you. It feels so wonderful to talk about the amazing journey Paul, Luc and I will be taking over the next year. It still amazes me when I think about how long it took for Paul and I to come to this decision. Had I known making this decision would have been so freeing for me, I would have done it 3 years ago.

Some of you know that Paul and I have been trying to expand our family now for the past 3 years. Luc is now 5 years old and we thought that having a bit of distance between our children would be best for us. So, when we were unsuccessful for the first year, I was still hopeful and was trying alternative methods (acupuncture) to assist with the process. Then when 2 years had past, I thought maybe it was time to go see a fertility Dr. So, I did just that. After 8 months of unsuccessful insemination's, surgery, taking hormones and the emotional roller coaster ride, it was time for use to make a decision. Did we want to move onto the next step IVF (in vitro fertilization). I asked many questions, joined online groups for support, I researched and researched. I wanted to make sure that this would be the right thing for ME to do. I stress the ME because I judge no one who has chosen this path. This is what was right for them, however was this the right path for me to take, can I accept the responsibilities of multiple babies (should it happen), do I feel comfortable with creating life and my body not accepting these lives and then grieving these losses, what would I do with the remaining embryos, could I handle the ups and the downs my emotions and hormones would be going through, the multiple Dr. appointments each week.....Oh, the list goes on. My head was just spinning. I think I cried everyday, but found my solice in prayer.

As I pondered this decision, of course I just could not stop asking "Why was this happening to us?' It only took one month to conceive Luc. A friend of mine from church told me don't go there. Try not to ask the why question, just listen and the answers will come. About a week into December, Paul and I sat down for dinner (Luc was sleeping) and I melted down and knew in my heart that IVF was just not for me or for our family. I just couldn't put my body and mind through it any longer. With tears in my eyes, Paul looked at me and said "then we can adopt" and I said "Yes, we can adopt". This is something that we had considered, but we were not at this crossroad. I took a deep breath and it felt like the weight of the world had been lifted off of my shoulders. For the first time in a long time, I knew we were going to have another child. There was no question, not even a doubt.

Every night from that point on I was on the computer researching adoption agencies. I went in to see my Fertility Dr. and I told them we decided to adopt and they provided me with resources for adoption. They were so supportive and excited. The receptionist was adopted herself. She let me ask her questions about how she feels about adoption and her birth Mom. We also talked to another woman who works in the the office. Her daughter adopted both her children from South Korea. She expressed her absolute love and adoration for her grandchildren. Luc is in Mandarin class and his two classmates are adopted from China. I received a ton of information from both their Mom's. They both adopted from the same agency. I couldn't believe how the minute we said we were adopting we were surrounded by people who have adopted. In Luc's preschool there is a little girl in his class from China. Both her and her younger sister were adopted. It is crazy! This only solidified our decision to adopt even more.

As I was researching I realized there were so many places we could adopt from. Paul and I felt strongly about sticking with the Chinese heritage, but could not bare the thought of waiting 2 years to adopt from China. We received information packets from several agencies and I continued to research into the South Korea and Taiwan program. After much thought Paul and I decided to go with Taiwan. To my knowledge there is only one agency working with Taiwan and it's Journeys of the Heart. This was the agency that was referred to me by Katie and Connie, the mother's of Luc's Mandarin classmates. On Monday, January 16,2007 we mailed out the adoption application to get the ball rolling. We are hoping to complete the rest of the information needed for the application by next week. Then we wait to see if we get accepted by the Agency for the Taiwan program. It is all starting to feel even more real.

I will do my best to update the blog regularly to let you know were we are at in the process. Thanks for joining us on our journey it will be a wild ride, but worth every minute.

Be well,
Andrea